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  • Writer's pictureAldona Birmantas

Just Go to Sleep! (Feline Friday series)

Tortie cat

Nothing says, “Hey, it’s time to party!” more than when a cat’s human is fast asleep in bed, preferably between 2-5am. Marge, thankfully, pretty much respects my sleep and doesn’t really feel the need to disrupt it. The most she’ll ever do is jump into the bed, meow once and then stare at me until I get up. That’s not a common occurrence, though. Usually, she is perfectly content with just sleeping in the bed.

Betty, on the other hand, hoo-boy! I truly believe that finding new and annoying ways to wake me up is her favorite pastime. And, since we’ve been together for nearly 13 years, she’s really had a lot of time to hone in on her craft. The antics typically begin after 2am, but as late as 5 or 6am- bonus if I have to wake up at, say, 8am and she’ll start up around 6:30am. The earlier I go to sleep, the earlier they will begin because if I go to sleep early, then that is just that much time taken away from paying attention to her! That’s how I see it, anyway, and I’ve mentioned before that Betty is the very co-dependent, attention-starved one. I wasn’t kidding.

Tortie cat

Below, you’ll find a list of some of her preferred and/or just classic methods she uses to amuse herself:

• Scratching on the window with her claws (a cringe-worthy sound, not unlike that of someone running their nails on a chalkboard)

• Orbiting around my head on the pillow

• Standing on me

• Meowing until I open my eyes, then when I do, she zooms into my face and will (gently, thankfully) paw at my cheek

• Walking back and forth repeatedly against the drawer handles of my nightstand, creating a “knocking” sound

• Scratching the wall with her claws (see: chalkboard sound)

• When I used to have birds and none of her other methods were doing the trick, she’d slap the bird cage so they’d all wake up and start flying around in a loud frenzy

• Carrying toys into the room and standing with them next to the bed while meowing guttural sounds loud enough to wake the dead

• Enticingly rolling the ball in the cat scratcher (located near my bedroom door) as if to say, “Hey, this is reallllly fun, are you sure you don’t want to wake up and try it?”

• Standing next to my face and making those “brrrrrr” sounds over and over until I open my eyes and acknowledge her presence

• Swatting random items (loose change, lip balm, etc) that I might have on the nightstand onto the floor

• If I am burrowing under the blankets à la blanket fort, walking all over it or getting her claw into a piece of the blanket and lifting it up • Slapping the window blinds

• Sticking her cold nose on my eyelids or in my ear

• My personal favorite, “combing” my hair with her claws

Sometimes, she’ll do these things because there is “no food” in the dish aka about a fingernail-sized speck of the bottom of the bowl is visible. Mostly, though, she does this for attention and because she want to hang out, which can sometime simply mean just dangling my hand over the side of the bed so she can walk back and forth under it, as if to pet herself. Of course, once I actually get out of bed, she’ll decide she’s tired and disappear for a few hours. Though it does usually drive me up a wall at the time, I can’t help but find it hilarious and incredibly endearing. She’s a smart little lady and knows exactly what to do to get what she wants (and it works every time).

Tortie cat yawning

One last thing... last weekend, on February 10th, Marge and I celebrated her two year anniversary. Happy Gotcha Day, Marge!

Orange tabby cat collage

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